AN ISSUE OF COMPETANCY?

While addressing a large audience recently, the VP, commenting on the past election, Cheney indicated that, from his perspective, little has changed. He drew applause when he denounced a federal court in Michigan for striking down the Bush administration's program of monitoring terrorism suspects' phone calls without a warrant. Cheney called the ruling, which has been stayed and is under appeal, "an indefensible act of judicial overreaching," and he said the court was "tying the hands" of the president in the conduct of war.

"This is a matter entirely outside the competence of the judiciary," Cheney said. Although courts do have a say on matters that touch on foreign affairs, the vice president said, the surveillance program deserves deference from the judicial branch.

When asked his personal views about the "constitution", the VP remarked, I feel fine, outside of a little gas here and there, and lately, my heart is only used for pumping blood." Reports that the VP will start a Vegas style lounge act after his term runs out, are apparently untrue. "It is merely a coincidence that I look like a bad Edward G. Robinson impersonator."