PASSOVER DAY

There are those that celebrate Passover, an important Jewish holiday, celebrated with a long drawn out celebration culminating with the eating of bitter herbs and dried out brisket. I have attended many such passover Seders, as they are known, with my family, pretending that this is what Passover truly is. But get real, would you?

I will tell you what Passover means to me. Passover actually occurs when the next highest career progression position comes along. I apply, I get numerous interviews (including the "final" interview, somehow symbolizing that I am on a short, short, short list of candidates), and I get passed over.

Now that I think about it, there actually ARE some similarities between the Jewish practice of celebrating Passover, and my dogmatic employers passing me over for promotion. For one thing, my employers must atone for their sin of passing me over. Thankfully, Rosh Hashana is right around the corner.

My employers have rejected me the last three times I have tried for promotion, thus my carcass is now as dry and tough as an actual beef brisket. In fact, they have busted my matzo balls time and time again, and that is chicken shit. Finally, I can only assume that in order to eventually come to the conclusion of passing me over, they obviously partook in the annual smoking of bitter herbs. Throw in a few prayers, and some old ladies whose usage of lipstick clearly surpasses the actual shapes of their lips, and you got it....Passover.

Happy Holiday, and good Shabbos.